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    Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:49 am

    Musharraf comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee. After dinner, Vajpayee says to Musharraf: "Well Parvez, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant." "How do you know?" asks Musharraf "Oh well, it's simple", says Atal. " They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second".

    He calls Advani over and asks him "Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Ah, that's simple", says Advani, "it is me!" "Well done Advani", says Vajpayee and Musharraf is very impressed. He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet.
    He calls in his favourite member of cabinet and asks: "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister? " He thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit further Sir? May I let you know tomorrow? ". "Of course", says Musharraf, "You've got 24 hours."

    He goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his Cabinet Secretary, Chief Secretaries and Joint Secretaries, but no-one knows the answer.Twenty hours later, the member of Musharraf's cabinet is very worried-still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually he says to himself: "I'll ask Bill Clinton, he's clever, he'll know the answer." He calls Clinton. "Mr.President", he says, "Tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Very simple", says Clinton, "It's me!"

    "Wonderful!" says the Cabinet member and hangs up. Jumping with joy realizing that he knows the answer, he rings Musharraf. "Sir, I've got the answer!".

    "What is it?"

    "It's Bill Clinton".

    "No, you idiot", says Musharraf, "It's Advani".


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:51 am

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This Sardar taxi driver in New York would amuse himself by running over Pakistanis he saw walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a Pakistani walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back onto the road.
    (At this point some of you are probably wondering how the Sardar could distinguish the Pakistanis from the humans. Obviously he saw the trail of slime they left...)
    One day, as the taxi driver was driving along he saw a priest looking for a ride. He pulled the taxi over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll get you there. Get in." The happy priest climbed in and the taxi driver continued down the road.
    Suddenly the Sardar saw a Pakistani walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the car with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the Paki. However even though he was certain he missed the Paki, he still heard a loud "THUD".
    Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that Pakistani" "That's okay", replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:59 am

    Pakistani military researchers have recently ordered for the enlargement of the hatches on tanks and other armoured vehicles. This is so they can be more easily abandoned in enemy territory.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:00 am

    Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes ?
    Neither has Pakistan


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:01 am

    Did you hear about the Fighter jet which crashed into a cemetery in Karachi ?
    The Pakistani officials have so far recovered 3000 bodies. The body of the pilot is yet to be found.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:03 am

    Did you hear about the shutdown of the Karachi National Library ?
    Somebody stole the book.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:05 am

    A Paki news editor got 20 years in prison for calling the Prime Minister a fool. 5 years for the scandal and 15 for revealing a state secret !


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:05 am

    An insect falls into a mug of beer....
    Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out
    American : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer
    Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away
    Indian : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer..
    Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer. Relates the issue to Kashmir. Asks the Chinese for Military aid. Takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:05 am

    How do you stop a Pakistani tank ?
    Shoot the men who are pushing it


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:05 am

    How do you disable a Pakistani tank ?
    Hide the wind-up key.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:06 am

    How do you disable Pakistani missiles ?
    Cut the rubber band


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:06 am

    Scene: trench warfare on Pakistan border, Sikh regiment on one side,suddenly Kartar Singh gets a bright idea, shouts! "Oye Abdul!" Guy pops up from other trench "Kya hai be" BANG! He's shot dead! "Oye Karim" 2 guys stand up, "Kya hai saala" BANG BANG both are killed! "Oye Mustafa!" 2 more, BANG-BANG! Another two down! Pakis get worried, they think saala Sardarji log, when did they get so smart? Decide to try it themselves. "Abe Gurdev Singh" silence "Oye Gurdev Singh!!" silence "O bhai, Gurdev Singh!" "Oye Gurdev Singh ko kaun bula rahahai re?" Paki gets up, "It's me,Ashraf!" BANG!


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:06 am

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Sum Ting Wong went for a job interview to be a secretary.

    When the manager saw Sum Ting Wong's colorful attire and gold & white-highlighted hair, his mind was screaming "NOT THIS WOMAN".

    Nevertheless, he still had to entertain Sum Ting Wong. So he told Sum Ting Wong, "If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then maybe I will give you a chance!.

    The words are "GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK".

    Sum Ting Wong thought for a while and said : "I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW....BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiyah, wrong number, lah.... Don't PURPLEly disturb people and don't call BLACK, OK? Thank You."

    The Manager fainted !!!


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:06 am

    A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

    The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." She did and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there is a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

    The woman said, "Thats okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

    The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women will flock to him."

    The woman replied, " Thats okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman, and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she became the most beautiful woman in the world!

    For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world, and he will be ten times richer than you."

    The woman said, " Thats okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM she became the richest woman in the world!

    The frog asked her what she would like for her third wish. She said, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

    Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:07 am

    After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

    So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read :-
    "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."

    One week later, the Indian press reported the following :-
    "After digging as deep as 500m, Indian scientists have found absolutely nothing.

    They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones!



    Mera Bhaarat Mahan..................


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:08 am

    For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards.

    She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed look on her face. She called the teacher over and explained that no matter what she typed, nothing would happen. The teacher tried everything. By this time I was hiding behind my monitor and quaking red-faced. I started to type, "Leave me alone!" They both jumped back, silenced. "What the..." the teacher said. I typed, "I said leave me alone!"

    The kid got real upset. "I didn't do anything to it, I swear!" It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. The conversation between them and the PC went on for an amazing five minutes.

    Me: "Don't touch me!"

    Her: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit your keys that hard."

    Me: "Who do you think you are anyway?!" Etc.

    Finally, I couldn't contain myself any longer and fell out of my chair laughing. After they had realized what I had done, they both turned beet red. Funny, I never got more than a C- in that class.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:13 am

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    An American Born Desi in India:

    An American Born Desi returned to India and hired a tourist cab for sight seeing. When taken to the Taj Mahal in Agra, he asked how many years it took to build it. The guide replied 20 years. The American desi remarked You guys are lazy, in America we can build some thing like this in 5 years. At Red Fort in Dehli he asked the same question. The guide reduced the period to impress him and said Ten years. Only ten years The American Desi retorted: Didnt I say you guys are slow workers! In America we could have built it in 2 1/2 years. Same story everywhere. He admired the places but reduced the period to 1/4th. The guide got irritated by this young American Desi. Next day when they were near Qutab Minar the American Desi asked what is that tower? The guide replied I ll have to go and find out. When I was passing by this side last evening there was nothing here.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:20 am

    A rich widower miser NRI went back to India and married a young village girl. The girl did not like his hugging and kissing all the time. He thought of a scheme to teach his wife not to hate his American life style. He bought a piggy bank and told his wife that every time he kisses or hugs her, he will put a rupee coin in the piggy bank and at the end of month she can open the bank and buy a new saree with the money. The scheme worked very well. The young wife showed more willingness to be kissed and hugged. At the end of the month he gave her the key and told his wife to open the piggy bank. What he saw did not please him. There were many 5 and 10 rupee bills along with rupee coins in the box. Where did these come from he demanded angirly. Ive been putting only rupee coins. Not everyone is as kanjoos as you replied the wife.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:21 am

    President General Pervez Musharaf preside over a cabinate meeting,he told the meeting that his government is doing great jobs for the poor peoples of pakistan,there are very much development in every where ,and the peoples are glad to him,after the meeting a young minister visited all the sites and the areas which were told in the cabinate meeting by the pervez musharaff,but he found nothing,next time in the meeting he told the President Muzharaf that I visited every where but found nothing as you told,President saw the Minister and said" stay at home ,do you job,dont go here and there,and read the official news papers and watch Ptv."


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:22 am

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A Paki, Bangladeshi and a Sardar are in a bar one night having a beer.

    The Paki drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

    The Bangladeshi obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

    The Sardar , cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Paki and Bangladeshi. He says "In Delhi we have so many Pakis and Bangladeshi that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:27 am

    Musharraf and his driver were going to Military Air Base and were passing a farm. A pig jumped out in the road suddenly. The driver tried to get out of the way, but he hit him. He went in the farm to explain what had happened. He came out with a beer, a cigar, and a tons of money. Musharraf saw this and said, "My God, what did you tell them?" The driver replied, "I told them that I'm Musharraf's driver and I just killed the pig."


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:29 am

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Musharraf went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides the left side and the right side."
    Bush interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?"
    The doctor replied, "That's true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything left."


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:30 am

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    So once three scientists american, japanese, and pakistani are discussing their nation's scientific capability.

    The american says, "In our country there was this boy who lost his legs in an accident, and we put artificial ones, and today u know hes an olympic gold medalist!"

    So the japnese laughs and says, "This is nothing.in our nation there was this boy who lost his hands and legs in accident and we put artifical ones, and today u know, hes karate champion!"

    Now the paki laughs and says, "These are nothing, in our nation there was this boy who had no brains, and so we put a coconut in his head, and today u know...... he is the 'Military ruler of pakistan!"


    _________________
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    Ho Jaaye To Inkaar Mat Karna

    Nibha Sako To Chalna Uski Raah Par

    Varna Kisi Ki Zindagi Barbaad Mat Kerna

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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:57 am

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    Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept Musharraf Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that........

    Bush What buildings? What people??
    Musharraf Oh, and what time is it in America now?
    Bush It's eight in the morning.
    Musharraf Oops...Will call back in an hour!


    _________________
    Kabhi Kisi Se Pyaar Mat Karna

    Ho Jaaye To Inkaar Mat Karna

    Nibha Sako To Chalna Uski Raah Par

    Varna Kisi Ki Zindagi Barbaad Mat Kerna

    ˙·٠●(-๑۩۞۩๑ ๑۩۞۩๑-)●٠·˙
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    Number of posts : 995
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:58 am

    A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

    A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"

    The man says - "But I am not a New Yorker!"

    "Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning "Brave American saves life of little girl'" - the policeman answers.

    "But I am not an American!" - says the man.
    "Oh, what are you then?"
    The man says - "I am a Pakistani!"
    The next day the newspapers prints headline "Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist networks are being investigated"


    _________________
    Kabhi Kisi Se Pyaar Mat Karna

    Ho Jaaye To Inkaar Mat Karna

    Nibha Sako To Chalna Uski Raah Par

    Varna Kisi Ki Zindagi Barbaad Mat Kerna

    ˙·٠●(-๑۩۞۩๑ ๑۩۞۩๑-)●٠·˙

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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

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