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    Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:30 am

    Punjab Airlines

    Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen.
    This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to
    Punjab Airways. We apologize for the four day delay in taking off,
    owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery.

    This is flight one two six flight to New Delhi.
    Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in
    the East. And if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your
    village!

    Punjab Airways has an excellent record for safety.
    In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are
    afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure I announce that starting
    this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination.
    (I presume that the other 50% were the terrorists themselves!!!)
    For the ones that don't quiet make it, Punjab Airways staff have all
    the requisite experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our
    Stewardesses Bubbly and Goldie will be happy to brief you on our
    out-of-court settlement policies.

    If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger
    request, we can arrange to turn them off ! To make your free fall to
    earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and
    biscuits !

    For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who
    can help you find out if there really is a God!

    We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight
    movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the
    television.

    But for our movie buff, we will be flying right next to Air India,
    where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin
    window.

    There is no-smoking in this airplane. Any smoke you
    see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines
    telling us to slow down!

    Life jacket are positioned under your seats and free
    bathing costumes are made available to the aunties and swimming
    shorts to the uncles, for emergency jumps!

    In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly
    as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little
    too close do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies
    right through the landmark !

    Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright
    position for take off and fasten your belt. For those of you who
    can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your
    seat.

    And for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in
    touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase.

    Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today because I have to attend
    my nephew's wedding. But please make yourself at home and help yourself
    to the cock pit.

    Thank you for choosing Punjab Airways. HAVE A NICE JOURNEY.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:32 am

    Sardar and Medical School

    A glossary of Medical Terms, and alternate meanings as given by Sardar

    Benign................What you be after you be eight.

    Artery................The study of paintings.

    Bacteria..............Back door to cafeteria.

    Barium................What doctors do when patients die.

    Cesarean Section......A neighborhood in Rome.

    Catscan...............Searching for kitty.

    Cauterize.............Made eye contact with her.

    Colic.................A sheep dog.

    Coma..................A punctuation mark.

    D & C.................Where Washington is.

    Dilate................To live long.

    Enema.................Not a friend.

    Fester................Quicker than someone else.

    Fibula................A small lie.

    Genital...............Non-Jewish person.

    G.I. Series...........World Series of military baseball.

    Hangnail..............What you hang your coat on.

    Impotent..............Distinguished, well known.

    Labor Pain............Getting hurt at work.

    Medical Staff.........A Doctor's cane.

    Morbid................A higher offer than I bid.

    Nitrates..............Cheaper than day rates.

    Node..................Was aware of

    Outpatient.... .......A person who has fainted.

    Pap Smear..... .......A fatherhood test.

    Pelvis................Second cousin to Elvis.

    Post Operative........A letter carrier.

    Recovery Room.........Place to do upholstery.

    Rectum................Darn near killed him.

    Secretion.............Hiding something.

    Seizure...............Roman emperor.

    Tablet................A small table.

    Terminal Illness......Getting sick at the Bus Station

    Tumor.................More than one

    Urine.................Opposite of you're out.

    Varicose..............Near by/close by.

    Vein..................Conceited.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:33 am

    Sardar and Medical School

    Once upon a time, a Surdar applied to Medical School
    needless to say he never made it because these are the answers he
    gave......

    QUESTION: Define the following terms?

    ANTIBODY - against everyone
    ARTERY - the study of fine paintings
    ASPHYXIA - get a "Butt Job"
    BACTERIA - back door to a cafeteria
    BENIGN - what you be after you be eight
    BOWEL - letters like a,e,i,o,u
    CAESARIAN SECTION - a district in Rome
    CARDIOLOGY - advanced study of poker playing
    CAT SCAN - searching for lost kitty
    CHRONIC - neck of a crow
    COMA - punctuation mark
    CORTIZONE - area around local courthouse
    CYST - short for sister
    DIAGNOSIS - person with a slanted nose
    DILATE - the late British princess
    DISLOCATION - in this place
    DUODENUM - couple in jeans
    ENEMA - not a friend
    FALSE LABOR - pretending to work
    FECES - nasty countenance
    GALLBLADDER - bladder in a girl
    GENES - blue denim
    GROIN - to mash to a pulp / smile
    HERNIA - she is close by
    HYMEN - greeting to several males
    IMPOTENT - distinguished, well-known
    LABOR PAIN - hurt at work
    LACTOSE - person without digits on the foot
    LIPOSUCTION - a French kiss
    LYMPH - walk unsteadily
    MENOPAUSE - I no wait
    MICROBES - small dressing gowns
    OBESITY - city of Obe
    PACEMAKER - winner of Nobel Peace Prize
    PROTEIN - in favour of teens
    PULSE - grain
    PUS - small cat
    RED BLOOD COUNT - Dracula
    RUPTURE - ecstasy
    SECRETION - hiding anything
    SEMEN - sailors
    SERUM - sailors drink
    SUBCUTANEOUS - not cute enough
    SUTURE - Gujarati for "what do you want"
    TABLET - small table


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by anisa on Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:15 am

    welldone

    magar aap itne saray late kahan se hain aisa to nahi k sadar je aap he oh
    hahahahaha
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:07 pm

    oyee teri kiya joke hai anisa g hehe yaar bus dekh loo hum aisaye hi tu admin nahi hai na :P


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by Administrator on Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:09 pm

    Aise Waise Admin Nahi Hain Yeh Anisa Ji In K Paas Pori Book Hai Jokes Ki Lolz lol!


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:39 am

    HEHE yaar barye mazakihi ho barey mazakhi ho tussi
    abhi tu aur collection anaye wali hai :D lol!


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by anisa on Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:06 am

    acha abhi bake hai hmmmmmmmm good
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:03 pm

    abhi kiya hai anisa me smajh nahi :D aur app log bhi likhoo me yahan likhta rehaoo ga :( lol!


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:03 pm

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Sardar's Letter

    Cousin Banta

    Jallandhar



    Dear Banta,

    I'm writing this real slow cause I know you can't read very fast. We
    don't live where we did when you left. We read in the paper that most accidents
    happen within 10 miles of home, so we moved.

    I won't be able to send you our new address cause the last family that
    lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn't have to change
    their address.

    This place has a washing machine. The first day mama put four shirts
    in, pulled the chain and we have not seen them since.

    Its only rained here twice this week. Three days the first time and
    five days the second time.

    I know its cold where you are so we're sending you a coat. Ma said it
    would be too heavy to mail with them buttons on it, so we cut them off and put
    them in the pockets.

    We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the
    last payment on grandma's funeral bill, up she comes!

    My sister had a baby this morning. I haven't heard whether it's a boy
    or a girl, so I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.

    Uncle Balbir fell in the big whiskey vat. When they tried to pull him
    out, he fought them off, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for
    three days.

    Cousin Santa

    Ludhiana.

    P.S : I was planning to enclose the money that I owe you with this envelope,
    but I had already sealed this by then.


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:04 pm

    Three police squads , The Scotland Yard police , The NY Police and the
    Punjab Sardar brigade contest for the best police force ward . The judges
    lead them to the Gir forest of India and assign them the mission. He who
    captures an adult LIon and brings it back alive in the fastest time will
    be adjudged the best .

    First Scotland yard goes into the forest and comes back in half an
    hour with a Lion all tied up .

    Then the NY police go in and come back in 15 minutes with a tied
    up lion .

    Lastly the sardar brigade goes in . 15 minutes , half an hour ,
    one hour goes and no sign of our saradrjis .The judges give up and decide
    to search for them . They go into the forest . After some searching , they
    find the sardarjis all excitedly yelling near a tree. The sardarjis have
    tied up a big bear to a tree and one of them is shouting , "Bol tu sher
    Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher Hai !! " (Admit that you are a lion! You @#$%@!
    You are a lion)


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by aru on Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:46 am

    MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
    PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

    Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
    Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

    Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I beshowing?"
    Student : "Brotherly love".

    Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
    prayers before eating?"
    Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
    cook".

    Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
    COINCIDENCE? "
    One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:41 pm

    lol! aru gud ones hmm i like no. 2 3 n 5 hmm kool keep it up :) lol!


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by aru on Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:34 am

    thxxxxx
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by anisa on Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:11 am

    well done
    magar mujy yahan k jokers passand ayee lol!
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by aru on Wed Mar 26, 2008 11:09 pm

    jokers lolzzz
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by anisa on Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:53 am

    han jokers
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:27 pm

    hmmm aru sisy yah anisa g sahi tu kah rehi hai jokerz but apni tareef apnye moun yah tu ghalat hai lol! :P hmm hehe


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by anisa on Sun Mar 30, 2008 9:32 am

    admin g aap ke akal kahan hai . jokz koon lehk raha hai hmmm

    wahe to jokers howe hmmm

    samje
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Mon Mar 31, 2008 3:14 pm

    hmm chalo ab hum hi jokers sahi khair doston kay liye yah bhi sah letye hai :)


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by anisa on Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:16 am

    aap itne jalde maan layte hain
    its mean aap hain hmmmmmmmm
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:27 am

    hmm yaaar manaye yan maanaanyeee say kiya hota hai :O


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by anisa on Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:11 am

    BUHAAT KUCH
    JO KARE WOH JANE
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by aru on Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:11 am

    Two ghosts met and both chat about how they died.

    1st ghost : How u died?
    2nd ghost : I died of cold.

    1st ghost : How does it feel when you're dying in cold?
    2nd ghost : Actually, I was accidentally locked in the refrigerator.

    Initially, I was shivering, then my whole body started to freeze, later I felt the whole world was dark and I died suffocating.

    1st ghost : Wow what a horrible way to die....
    2nd ghost : How about you? How u die?

    1st ghost : I died from heart attack.
    2nd ghost : I see, why did u have a heart attack?

    1st ghost : Actually, I found out that my wife is having an affair with another man.

    One day, when I came back from work, saw a pair of man shoes outside my house. Then, I realized that the guy was in my house with my wife. When I rushed into the bedroom, my wife was alone.

    I must find where that bastard is hiding. So I searched the toilet, I ran downstairs, looked in the storeroom, but the bastard was not there. So, I ran upstairs and searched the wardrobe, but I found nothing.

    Because of all that running,I got a heart attack and died.

    2nd ghost : Why you never look for the bastard in the fridge? The bastard was hiding there. We both might be alive now!!
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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

    Post by  on Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:33 pm

    lol! kiya baat hai kiya joke waoow hmm maza aya :) kkool job


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    Re: Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

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