Jokezzz >>>>>>>>>>>

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees

and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your

donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"

The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I

wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have

been missing too."

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Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy

so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees

to wake him up when the station arrived.

This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees ,

the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell

asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.

When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he

went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and

suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.

Said his wife " What's the matter?"

Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and

woken up someone else"

Do u know What Surdarji will do after taking Xerox ?

He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!


6. Do u know what surdarji will do if he wants a white paper ?

(he already has one and he wants one more..) He takes a Xerox of

the white paper !!! )

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Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees

and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your

donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"

The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I

wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have

been missing too."




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Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy

so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees

to wake him up when the station arrived.

This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees ,

the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell

asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.

When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he

went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and

suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.

Said his wife " What's the matter?"

Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and

woken up someone else"



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do u know What Surdarji will do after taking Xerox ?

He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!


6. Do u know what surdarji will do if he wants a white paper ?

(he already has one and he wants one more..) He takes a Xerox of

the white paper !!! )



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Once, a Hindu, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an

aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had

no parachutes with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives

and jump out of their planes.

First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a parachute

and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down. Then the Hindu removed

his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as a parachute and he also

floated down gently. Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant

and jumped out.

Unfortunately, they did not do well as a parachute and he began to fall

rapidly from the plane to the ground. He passed by the Hindu who said

- " May Bhagwan help you".

Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked at the American zooming past

him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see! You want a race! Let us see who is faster"

Saying so, he let go of his turban.

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One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a honeymoon

tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a hospital

(Breach Candy) was trying to fill some form. So the

couple enquired eagerly "What are you doing ?"

Sardarji replied that I

had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form.

The couple as per

schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi Flight for their next

destination. On the next day, they find the same

Sardarji, in front of Lal Qilla in Delhi filling the

same form.

So once again young couple

curiously asked - "What are you doing here ?"

Sardarji once again replied I had a baby and I

am filling the birth certificate form.

The couple said but

sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same

form, how come you're in Delhi?

Sardarji cooly replied

It is written here - "FILL IN CAPITALS"

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Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of theirparents achievements to each other.

Santa singh : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'

Banta singh : 'Yes, I have'

Santa singh : 'Well, my father dug it.'

Banta singh : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Deadsea?'

Santa singh : 'Yes, I have.'

Banta singh : 'Well, my father killed it.'

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Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. Onewas a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision uponthat answer.

When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answeredwithout hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked himand he left.

When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the samequestion. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chiefthanked the man who then left.

Finally the Sardarji arrived for hisinterview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time,before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow."

When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How did theinterview go?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'malready investigating a murder.

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Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of theirparents achievements to each other.

Santa singh : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'

Banta singh : 'Yes, I have'

Santa singh : 'Well, my father dug it.'

Banta singh : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Deadsea?'

Santa singh : 'Yes, I have.'

Banta singh : 'Well, my father killed it.'

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Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. Onewas a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision uponthat answer.

When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answeredwithout hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked himand he left.

When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the samequestion. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chiefthanked the man who then left.

Finally the Sardarji arrived for hisinterview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time,before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow."

When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How did theinterview go?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'malready investigating a murder.

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A sardar had arrived early at the stadium for the first cricket game
of the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had
left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning,
he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another
seat.After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a
voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!"
He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the
voice-with no success.Then he realized he had lost his place in the
line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over
again.After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to
buy a coke. The line at the concession stand was also very long. But
since the game hadn't started he decided to wait. Just as he got to
the window, a voice called out"Hey, Balbir!"
Again He tried to find the voice and got out of line as he wandered
looking for the owner of the voice. But no luck.
He was very upset as he got back in line for his coke.Finally he had
his coke and took his seat eager for the game to begin. As he waited
for the first pitch, he heard the voice calling, "Hey, Balbir!" once
more.
Furious, He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs,"My name isn't
Balbir!"

An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon

to test

a lie detector. The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20

bottles of beer".

BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.

"Ok", he says, "10 bottles".

And the machine is silent.



The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ,

goes the lie detector.

"Allright, 8 hamburgers".

And the machine's silent.



The Sardarji says: "I think...",

BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very

depressed.

"What happened ?" asked Surjit.

"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?"

"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England

was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would win,

but I lost the bet."

" But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?" " Yaar, I

bet on the highlights too "

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Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees

and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your

donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"

The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I

wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have

been missing too."

Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's
Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri.
Banta: Wow Santa, What a car!
Where did you get it from ?

Santa: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady
came in this car and asked me -
"want a ride Mr. Singh ?"

I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in
woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me
"Mr Singh. take anything"

Banta is quite excited and asks
"What did you do Santa?"

Santa: I took the car.

Banta: good show - you wouldn't have fit into her
clothes

Three convicts escaped from prison. One was a Madrasi, one a Gujarati,

and one a Sardar. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn

where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up,

they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for

camouflage.



About an hour later the Prison Warden and his assistant came into the barn.

The warden told his assistant to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got

up there the warden asked him what he saw and the assistant yelled back,

"Just three gunnysacks."



The warden told him to find out what was in them, so the assistant kicked the

first sack, which had the Madrasi in it. He went, "Bow-wow", so the assistant

told the warden there was a dog in it.



Then he kicked the sack with the Gujarati in it. He went, "Meow", so

the assistant told the warden there was a cat in it.



Then he kicked the one with the Sardar in it, and there was no sound at

all. So he kicked it again, and finally the Sardar said, "Potatoes".

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Three convicts escaped from prison. One was a Madrasi, one a Gujarati,

and one a Sardar. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn

where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up,

they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for

camouflage.



About an hour later the Prison Warden and his assistant came into the barn.

The warden told his assistant to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got

up there the warden asked him what he saw and the assistant yelled back,

"Just three gunnysacks."



The warden told him to find out what was in them, so the assistant kicked the

first sack, which had the Madrasi in it. He went, "Bow-wow", so the assistant

told the warden there was a dog in it.



Then he kicked the sack with the Gujarati in it. He went, "Meow", so

the assistant told the warden there was a cat in it.



Then he kicked the one with the Sardar in it, and there was no sound at

all. So he kicked it again, and finally the Sardar said, "Potatoes".

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Santa Singh is Flying from Moscow to Delhi. To his surprise, sitting right beside
him is Gary Kasporov, the world Chess Champion. Santa has always been in awe
of Chess players, and immediately starts up a conversation with Gary about the
Nuances of the Game etc. Gary says ... "How would You like to Play me for $ 500/
US"?

Santa: "But you're too damn good".

Gary: "I'll play left handed".

Santa cant resist the bet and accepts. Kasparov, Check Mates our Sardar in 8
Moves .......

Santa is still scratching his head, as he leaves the airplane.

Upon Reaching Amritsar, Santa tells Banta about the game he had with
Kasparov.

Banta: "Tu bhi pura buddhu hai Santa". (You're an absolute fool Santa)
Santa: "kyon" (why)?

Banta: "Abe chooteye ........ Gary Kasparov Khabbu hai". (You idiot, Gary
Kasparov IS a lefty, no wonder he beat you left handed).

A Rajastani, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit

a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While

standing in the middle of the rail tracks one day, he hears this

whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.



Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It was

only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal

injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.



After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house

attending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears

the teakettle whistling. He grabs a iron rod from the nearby shelf

and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable

lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen,

sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why did you ruin my good

tea kettle?"



The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're

small."

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Sardar's Letter

Cousin Banta

Jallandhar



Dear Banta,

I'm writing this real slow cause I know you can't read very fast. We
don't live where we did when you left. We read in the paper that most accidents
happen within 10 miles of home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you our new address cause the last family that
lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn't have to change
their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day mama put four shirts
in, pulled the chain and we have not seen them since.

Its only rained here twice this week. Three days the first time and
five days the second time.

I know its cold where you are so we're sending you a coat. Ma said it
would be too heavy to mail with them buttons on it, so we cut them off and put
them in the pockets.

We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the
last payment on grandma's funeral bill, up she comes!

My sister had a baby this morning. I haven't heard whether it's a boy
or a girl, so I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.

Uncle Balbir fell in the big whiskey vat. When they tried to pull him
out, he fought them off, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for
three days.

Cousin Santa

Ludhiana.

P.S : I was planning to enclose the money that I owe you with this envelope,
but I had already sealed this by then.

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Three police squads , The Scotland Yard police , The NY Police and the
Punjab Sardar brigade contest for the best police force ward . The judges
lead them to the Gir forest of India and assign them the mission. He who
captures an adult LIon and brings it back alive in the fastest time will
be adjudged the best .

First Scotland yard goes into the forest and comes back in half an
hour with a Lion all tied up .

Then the NY police go in and come back in 15 minutes with a tied
up lion .

Lastly the sardar brigade goes in . 15 minutes , half an hour ,
one hour goes and no sign of our saradrjis .The judges give up and decide
to search for them . They go into the forest . After some searching , they
find the sardarjis all excitedly yelling near a tree. The sardarjis have
tied up a big bear to a tree and one of them is shouting , "Bol tu sher
Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher Hai !! " (Admit that you are a lion! You @#$%@!
You are a lion)

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A sardar from Delhi had an old car which had run for over a
1,00,000 kilometres. He wanted to sell it, but was not getting a
good price because of its excess mileage.
He approached a Madrasi friend of his and asked for help.
The Madrasi gave him an address in Chennai (Madras) and asked
him to visit a mechanic there. The mechanic would adjust the
meter so that it shows only 30,000 kilometres.
The sardar thanked him and left for Madras. For a few days,
the Madrasi didn't see the sardar. He assumed that the sardar
would have sold the car.
A few weeks later, the sardar came to see the Madrasi in
the same car. The Madrasi was surprised and asked - "What
happened? Why have you not sold your car yet?"
The sardar replied - "Why should I? It has run for only
30,000 kilometres."

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A young ventriloquist is touring North India and stops to entertain
a gathering in Punjab. He's going through his usual stupid sardar jokes
(similar to the ones in the Sirippu web site!), when a big burly sardar
in the audience stands up and says "I've heard just about enough of your
silly sardar jokes; we aren't all stupid here in Punjab."

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the big guy
pipes up "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to the stupid little
fellow on your knee!"

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Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father." Dad, today we had a Spelling Class -

All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?" "No son, that's because you are intelligent. "

Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??" "No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.

Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??" The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."

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One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks
suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby
and then came back on the tracks.
The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the
driver was caught : He was found to be a Sardar .
He was questioned . He explained that there
was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving
from there even after lots of honks etc .
Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just to
save life of one person you put life of so many passengers
under danger.You should have overran that person .
Sardar said : Exactly, that is what i also decided, but this idiot
started running towards the field when the train came very close.

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Read this biography of a sardar
When God passed out looks,
I thought He said books, and I didn't want any.
When God passed out ears,
I thought He said beers, and I asked for two long ones.
When God passed out legs,
I thought He said kegs, and I asked for two fat ones.
When God passed out noses,
I thought He said roses, and I asked for a big red one.
When God passed out heads,
I thought He said beds, and I asked for a big soft one.
When God passed out brains,
I thought he said trains, and I missed mine.

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Mr. Jaswant singh went to a grocery stores collected the grocery and

came to the counter and person at the counter started preparing bill for

the items. Singh asked " Where is the fat ?" The person didn't

understand

what Singh was saying and said "Excuse me sir, FAT???"

Sardar : "Yes Fat, Give me the fat" Sardar started shouting and arguing

with the person and all people gathered and Manager of that grocery

stores came there and asked Sardar about the problem.

Then sardar said "Hey Manager look, I took a yogurt from your stores and

it was written 'FAT FREE' on that but this guy is not giving me the

fat.

Travelling together once were a Russian, an American & the saviour of our
nation - Sardarji!!!
Each of them wanted to prove that their country was the greatest.
Said the Russian, " We have a rocket that could touch the sky." "We
dont believe it ",said the others.
"Ok! Ok! but just 2cms. below the sky"
Not to be out done the American said, " We have a submarine that can
touch the ocean-bed of the deepest part on this planet."
"We don't believe it ",said the others.
"Ok! Ok! but just 2cms. above the ocean-bed"
Our hero with a smile on his face said, "In our country we all eat
with our nose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"